Biology of the Ancients

As it is nearly Christmas, I thought I would post this rather excellent diagram of the way a Clam work(s).





I wept when first I saw this picture, because it seems to me to be the most elegant way to point out the dichotomy twixt hard outer shell and soft inner workings - much like most of our emotional states whilst on the toilet or making love - hard as nails outside - all bluff, bluster and bravado, but inside we are as soft as droppings, unnecessarily complicated and crying like split children.

I think we have a lot to learn from these beautiful, free-spirited creatures of the skies. The next time you feel desperate or sad at work, have a quick look out of the window at these magnificent beasts as they soar past on the updrafts, flying where the current will take them - It'll cheer you up no end. And that is a personal guarantee.

The Kraken Awakes...

Hmmm - it would seem that I am having some trouble here. I set up this mundane template blog and spent time just fucking about with it so that I would have a place to compose my thoughts so that you, my dear, dear audience would be able to finally gain some insight as to what it is like to glimpse bitesize fractions of mind expulsion from the brain of an intellectual Giant. Your comprehension is not necessary - just your complete and undivided attention, so fucking well start listening when I open my beautiful (not just my opinion, but also the opinion of TV's Steve McFadden*) mouth.

I have considered long and hard about what to put on this thing, and have decided that there shall be no particular format. I very much doubt that I will spend much time on here at all, because I generally look at other peoples blogs instead, but do check in whenever you can - I would ideally like to attract a large group of people who will in many ways worship me as a kind of God, in order that I can use them as pawns and henchmen in my evil schemes. Not that I am evil of course - I just occasionally come up with evil schemes.

So, if you happen along this 'Neck O' the Woods', please leave a message after the tone, and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Also, if you have something you would like to post on here, please let me know, and i will consider putting it up.

T.T.F.N!

*I met him at a support group for battered husbands, after which he invited my mouth for booze and expressed to me how dearly he would love to leave his wife for it - even if for just one night. I of course acquiesced to his request, (acting as I do as my mouth's guardian ever since it's parents untimely deaths) and they are at this moment out having dinner somewhere 'up town'. Good luck to them I say - I happen to know that this is their fifth date, and that is generally the time when my mouth considers it OK to fuck.**

**I seem to have become Terry Pratchett.

The Link to Goaste over there >

Does not take you to the picture of a man with a mouth for an arse.

It takes you to a funny web site.

First proper post coming soon.